How are you BBLG?
Are you holding up well with the days without me?
There are so many times I feel like picking up my phone to dial your number and talk to you.
"What are you doing?", "How was your day?", "I miss you".
I spend nights alone thinking of you.
Becoming accustomed to the nights without you by my side.
Its a nightly routine to lie on my bed and think of you till I fall asleep.
Some nights I just let my thoughts wander to your side.
Some nights my tears would accompany me to bed.

Is this what it is? Is this how an end feels?
Every corner, every street reminds me of you.
The food we eat, the happy memories we share, the stupid things we do.
I don't dare to eat cedele, ichiban, or joe's any more.
I'm afraid that if I do, I have to accept the fact that we are no longer together.
I don't dare to wear my nike flyknit nor the clothes that you buy for me.
I'm afraid that if I do, I will feel your arms around me again and that would break me.

Everyday, I am building up my walls bit by bit.
Preserving myself. Therapist says that I should keep you off my radar for awhile so that I can heal.
But I don't know how to. I try to keep myself busy every single day.
So that I would not think of you as often.
My body has become so weak. Ridden of pains and illnesses.
A reflection of my mental and emotional health.


/Heartache transcends the body, mind and soul.